Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in wingsblog's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
8:55 pm	John's Tribute It is a very special honour to be asked to pay a tribute about a very special young man on behalf of Wings friends parents, to all of us parents it was like having another son, whenever Wing visited he automatically became a part of our families. Wing may have left us but I am sure that he will never be forgotten, all of us here will miss that infectious cheeky smile, we will miss his wonderful sense of humour, the hand of friendship that he offered to all of us, and moreover his bravery over the years. The other day whilst driving home I had the car radio on, the music was playing in the background but I wasn’t really paying attention to the song, then suddenly a line from the song caught my attention. It was Shirley Bassey singing "Hey Big Spender" and that line was "he was a man of distinction, a real big spender" Wing was indeed a man of distinction and from experience I knew what it was like to go out shopping with him. A couple of years ago he came with us on a family holiday to France and we all went to Paris for the day. Wing wanted to buy Lin a "Louis Viton" handbag for his mother Lin, by the time we reached the store it was mid afternoon and we had to catch the 6.30 train. Wing went into the store with Maureen and Andrew, I waited outside with Dan, my daughter and grandson I lost count of the time he was in there, later he emerged triumphant, clutching the handbag. Of course by this time I was panicking about being in time for the train it was the last one of the day that stopped at our station, we just made it in time to catch the train. Then on the train home I was told that whilst in the store Wing had inspected almost the entire stock of handbags before finally choosing the one he wanted for Lin. Surprise, surprise (Pause) It was the first one he had inspected. I looked across to Wing and what did I see that cheeky grin and that look that said, "What’s the problem we caught the train". To those who are here, the parents of his friends and his teachers, we will always remember Wing as one of the "Three Musketeers" the inseparable three, Dan, Andrew and Wing, three different characters but always together, looking out for each other. When Alexandre Dumas wrote the book he must have had them in his mind, "All for one and one for all" correctly summed up their special relationship. We had Dan, (Porthos) the valiant giant, Andrew (Arimis) the acedemic, and then we had Wing (Athos) the leader, the instigater and the gentleman of the trio who always charmed the ladies. And there was no doubt in my mind it was Wing who instigated their escapades. It is these three musketeers that come to mind on that holiday in France, 12 of us were sharing the large house and after we had decided to make the trip to Paris we all went to the local railway station to purchase the tickets, being the leader of the group I went to the ticket office and asked for 12 tickets to Paris. Unfortunately I could not speak French and the poor guy was getting very confused, the three musketeers were standing there watching me as I turned to them I could see Wing giggling, he said something to Dan, then Dan walked over, "leave it to me John he said I can communicate in French". So Dan went to the counter and said perfect English La 12 tickets to Parie May Wee" at this stage Wing collapsed with laughter, in the end Dan finished up in the guys office taking over his computer, in the end Wings mischievious laughter and giggling had us all in hysterics and for two days he did not let Dan forget his use of the French language, we did manage to get the tickets. Mind you when we finally did get to Paris it was Wing who took over as the leader directing what tourist attractions we would visit and in what order. Wherever Wing may be now it will be a happier place for he has taken with him that special smile, that sense of humour, and that hand of friendship and I have no doubt the shopkeepers there will have a smile on their face. To all us who have gathered here today Lin, your son Wing was a very special young man, as I have already said he was like another son to us he was indeed a man of distinction, he may have been short in physical stature, but was a giant of a man, he will be sadly missed but never forgotten. (Turn to the coffin) From all of your friends Wing "au revoir" may you rest in peace forever, (Pause) and that wherever you are our old mate, may your god protect you and provide you with what you richly deserve. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
9:15 pm	Chiu's Tribute Medical science puts Wing as one in 340, 000, but we know they were wrong. He was one in a million. He was unique. I speak from the position of someone who is related to him. The family titles of Chinese society are very precise. To him, I was ‘Bui Gou Jeh’. The title confers on me, my exact position in relation to him – daughter of his father’s father’s younger sister. Wing arrived in England when he was 8 months old, just in time to celebrate my 21st birthday. He stayed with my family until they found somewhere to settle on their own in Polegate. From the word go, he captured our hearts with his dark eyes, mop of wavy hair and funny antics. After his family moved to their own home, we would still meet up often for family meals and each time we met, he would leap into my arms with joy and start jabbering away in baby talk. I remember once, a lady on the bus wanted to know what he was saying and we had to admit it wasn’t any language we knew! Everyone talks about Wing making them laugh. This started early on in his life. He would have my siblings and me in fits of laughter with his jokey playfulness. He loved posing for photos and we have many pictures of him making funny faces from his high chair and playing guitar using a tennis racket. He was so cheeky but we always forgave him for his charm. Who could resist his giggle and Mutley chuckle when he’d done something naughty? One of the endearing things about Wing was how he delighted in choosing exactly the right gift for each member of the family. It was wonderful to see his face full of anticipation of our pleasure, as we opened his presents at Christmas. Sometimes, he liked to disguise the present in different ways so we couldn’t guess what it was. Wing liked to look cool and making sure his hair was just right. It must say great things about my brother, Wai’s skill as a hairdresser, as Wing trusted him so much to cut his hair that he gave him a set of professional haircutting scissors one Christmas. Wing also tried his best to bring out the sartorial elegance in us. I take great delight in telling people how he tried to make my sister and me as cool and trendy as he was. Forgetting that we grew up in the era of Abba, he gave us each ponchos last Christmas in the very latest crochet mode. I’m not sure if he would have forgiven us if we’d told him that we, like maiden aunts have worn them more in bed to keep warm, than for clubbing around the latest hotspots in town! We, in my family have many fond memories of times shared with Wing; playing Chinese checkers, my husband Martin carrying a young Wing on his shoulders, going to Beachy Head, celebrating birthdays, Christmas, our weddings and so many other things. In the best Chinese tradition, they usually started or ended with big family meals, which suited Wing as he loved eating. He was particularly fond of my mother’s signature dish, chicken with Chinese mushrooms. I introduced him to Thai cuisine when he came to visit us once in Bristol and he talked about it for a long time afterwards. Wing loved having his picture taken with Sue, my sister. It was just like him to choose his best looking cousin. We are particularly sad that he was not able to meet his new 3rd cousin, Jasper, who was born to Sue and Lawrence last week. He would have loved playing uncle to him. Many people have said that he was special and I’ve thought about it over the last few days and wondered what it was. He was funny and brave and wise and generous, but I think above all he made us feel that we were in some way special to him too. As I’ve said, Wing was always a sunny and happy child, always wanting to make us laugh. After his bone marrow transplant, his character took on an extra dimension. He became more thoughtful and it is that extra quality that has made him such a dear friend and family member to us all. I’m proud to have watched him grow into a wise, young man. He nursed his father during his long illness, and looked after his mother and brother when his father died. Now he passes his mantle to his brother, James. I know that Wing is out there still looking out for him and guiding him through the times ahead. I’d like to say on behalf of Wing’s family how deeply grateful we are for the kindness everyone has shown to us during Wing’s illness and especially in the last few weeks. In particular, we are especially grateful to his friends, Andrew and Dan and their families who have shown such devotion to Wing over the years and have treated him like members of their own families. The staff at the intensive care unit at The National Hospital for Neurology also deserve our gratitude for giving such caring attention to him during the past few months. We have been very touched by the generous and heartfelt tributes that have been given to Wing. We will not be able to thank every person individually, but please be assured that each gesture and kind word has been appreciated and brought comfort to us all. In Chinese culture, you should respect and revere your elders . Wing has shown that it is possible for elders to respect the younger generation. Over his life, he spent a lot of time in hospitals and underwent many operations, but never once did we hear him complain. With his bravery, thoughtfulness , kindness and zest for life, he has more than earned our respect. Wing, we salute you. We feel privileged to have known you, loved and be loved by you. For the short time that you were with us, you brightened up our lives and we will always treasure the memories of the good times that we shared. "A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it...." (Comment on this)
9:14 pm	Andrew's Tribute I first met Wing at Polegate Primary School when I was about 7 years old. I had just moved to the area and Wing and Daniel were among the first friends I made. I suppose it’s not often, even at my age, to be able to say that you have life long friends that you have grown up with. From an early age we developed a bond that can never be broken. Even though Wing is no longer with us, that bond will always remain. Wing’s personality, sense of humour and general attitude always made him a pleasure to be around. He was always very kind, generous, confident and extremely well mannered. Wing also knew how to enjoy himself and liked to be surrounded by his friends, of which he had many. He also loved to dance; he was always one of the first to the dance floor, and the last to leave. Wherever there was a dance floor, you could be sure Wing was on it somewhere charming the ladies. He was a very strong spirited character. I honestly don’t know where he got the energy from. I remember Wings 21st Birthday, after a long flight from Hong Kong and an hour or twos drive home from the airport; Wing dashed in doors for a quick shower and change, and then jumped into my car that was eagerly waiting for him outside. We then drove to Brighton and hit the town for several hours. He danced all night, on his own and with numerous young ladies. By the end of night, he was so tired and exhausted that he fell asleep in the nightclub. Dan and myself ended up having to carry him down Brighton sea front in the rain wrapped in Dan’s coat. We did get a few funny looks, you can imagine the scene. Wing was definitely one of the lads and always made sure he got his round in...well..maybe not always. He was always in the centre of all the noise and excitement, and quite often the instigator. He always knew when it was time to work and when it was time to have fun. Just over a year ago Wing was asked to be an Usher at Ryan and Jo Beagley’s wedding. I think it was a role that Wing was perfectly suited for, being extremely well organised and particular about everything. Anyway, He instantly rose to the challenge and assumed the role with his usual spirit. Running up to the wedding, Wing constantly offered his help and advice. On the wedding day he was one of the first to enter the church and the last to leave making sure that everything was in order and that no one had left anything behind and that all the service papers were put back where they belong before the ceremony. After the reception, and although tired from a long day, Wing helped tidy up the reception hall and made sure that everything was brought back to Ryan and Jo’s parents. He was a real star. In many ways I wish that I were more like him and that some of his qualities had rubbed off on me over the years, like his organisational skills, his attention to detail, and perhaps his charm with the ladies. Every Thursday night I would visit Wing at home. I suppose it used to be our night. He was a brilliant listener and would listen to all of my problems and gripes before even considering his own. He would. He always managed to cheer me up and reassure me that all would be fine. A few years ago another friend of mine, a mentor, who passed away whilst dealing with his own illness, had a favourite saying which I think is appropriate, he used to say: "I’d rather live one year as a tiger than ten years as a lamb". Wing lived 25 years as a tiger and never let his personal problems get in the way of what he wanted to achieve. He was probably the most capable man I ever knew. I am lucky to have so many fond memories of such a great friend, enough to last several life times. I will always remember Wing as a gentleman, someone who did the right thing at the right time. He was thoughtful, very confident and generous. I will remember him as both a best friend and a brother. Although it will never be the same without him I will always be grateful for the memories I have and the time I shared with him. Rest in Peace (Comment on this)
9:13 pm	Dan's Tribute It’s hard to know what to say because there is so much of my life that wing is and always will be a part off. Not everybody can say that they know a superstar, but I can say that, my best mate wing; always had something extra special. "My mini mate" with the heart of a giant. He always had smile for the ladies, even if he was having a rough day. My earliest memory of Wing is at playgroup. We used to ride along together on a toy milk float. Wing used to direct from the back. And from there the friendship started and grew so did his directions. We have shared a good mixture of memories and nights out. On getting ready for going out, he would disappear for several hours at a time to gel his hair. Sometimes we thought he had been growing taller over night but it turned out to be his spiked up gelled hair. Throughout our school years Wing was always the boss of the group and I was the bodyguard looking out for him. Now he is looking out for me. As our friendship grew, he became more than a friend, a brother. See you around brother. rest well. (Comment on this)
9:05 pm	Order of Service "A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it.." Order of Service Entrance music - My Immortal by Evanescence Welcome address by Ann Mitchell Tributes Andrew Thrower (lifelong friend) Dan Fillery (lifelong friend) John Thrower (Andrew’s father) Chiu-Kwan Lam (cousin) - be read by Ann Mitchell Period of quiet reflection Closing address Departure music - I'm Like A Bird by Nelly Furtado When we were young, Life was so unjust, At times I felt it was just us, Mama working hard to put food on the table. All on her own she sacrificed, Even when my brothers and sisters died, Some how she stayed strong, I never saw her cry. I was the oldest and responsibility was so immense, The tension, We’d disagree, So I left, at the time I felt she hated me. Told me to be strong, Told me to hang on, Hugged me tight, And said big sister it’ll be alright... [chorus:] Brother, I love ya, Little brother, I thank God for ya every day, Little brother, I love ya, And I pray he’ll never take you away. When my soul withered and I lived in the dark, An emptiness it filled my heart. U never stopped holdin’ me, Never stopped tryin’ to open me up. The days and nights I spent stressin’, The years I spent in depression, This is my confession. Thought about ending it sometimes, But the second you crossed my mind, I knew, I could never leave you. Made me believe, You set me free, To this day, all I say and do, I owe it all to you. Ooh, I would lie for you, Cry for you, Ride or die for you, Touch the sky for you, If you asked me to There’s nothin I wont do I took this life for joke I would drink or smoke To ease away the pain And forget the memories up in my brain But you helped me to stop the rain Oh brother brother... Lyrics to Brother by Ms Dynamite Every day I wake up I hope I’m dreamin I can’t believe this **** Can’t believe you ain’t here Sometimes it’s just hard for a nigga to wake up It’s hard to just keep goin It’s like I feel empty inside without you bein here I would do anything man, to bring you back I’d give all this ****, **** the whole knot I saw your son today He look just like you You was the greatest You’ll always be the greatest I miss you big Can’t wait til that day, when I see your face again I can’t wait til that day, when I see your face again... Yeah... this right here (tell me why) Goes out, to everyone, that has lost someone That they truly loved (c’mon, check it out) ..... Words can’t express what you mean to me Even though you’re gone, we still a team Through your family, I’ll fulfill your dream (that’s right) In the future, can’t wait to see If you open up the gates for me Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh-huh) Try to black it out, but it plays again When it’s real, feelings hard to conceal Can’t imagine all the pain I feel Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath) I know you still living your life, after death [chorus] Every step I take, every move I make Every single day, every time I pray I’ll be missing you Thinkin of the day, when you went away What a life to take, what a bond to break I’ll be missing you I miss you big It’s kinda hard with you not around (yeah) Know you in heaven smilin down (eheh) Watchin us while we pray for you Every day we pray for you Til the day we meet again In my heart is where I’ll keep you friend Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed Strength I need to believe My thoughts big I just can’t define (can’t define) Wish I could turn back the hands of time Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks You and me taking flicks Makin hits, stages they receive you on I still can’t believe you’re gone (can’t believe you’re gone) Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath) I know you still living you’re life, after death ..... On that morning When this life is over I know I’ll see your face Lyrics to Missing You by Puff Daddy (Comment on this)
8:52 pm	Wing's Funeral 21st September, 2005 About 100 people attended the funeral service for Wing, led by Ann Mitchell, a humanist minister. Wing's two closest friends, Andrew and Dan, and Andrew's father, John, gave their personal tributes, whist Ann read out one from Wing's cousin, Chiu. We're very grateful to those who came to say their personal goodbyes. For those who wanted to, but were unable to attend, I am placing here the order of service and some of the speeches made at the service. (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 8th, 2005
10:43 pm	Date of Funeral The date has been set for Wing's funeral. It will be at Eastbourne Crematorium (at Langney) on Wednesday, 21st September at 1pm, in the main chapel. Address: Eastbourne Crematorium, Hide Hollow Langney, Eastbourne, BN23 8AE. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
9:44 am	Waiting for a Date I'm sure you are all waiting to hear when the funeral for Wing will take place. We are hoping it will be in 10 days to 2 weeks' time but unfortunately a date can't be confirmed until the coroner has made his report. Once we know for sure, the funeral arrangements will be announced here. Meanwhile, thank you for all the messages that have been placed on the blog. Wing's family and friends have been much moved and comforted by the warm and heartfelt tributes that have written to him. He was a very special person and we shall miss him. Chiu (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
9:40 am	Wing Kin Yeung - 1st March 1980 to 31st August 2005 We are very sad to announce that Wing died suddenly during the night around 1am. It's a shock for everyone after the positive news recently on his improving condition. Our thoughts are with his mother and brother, James. (29 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
9:40 pm	Communications Wing is pretty stable at the moment. I wasn't able to speak to the nurse attending him, but I did have quite a long conversation with the speech therapist. I won't go into details, but basically he is frustrated about not being able to convey anything complicated, so they are encouraging him to write on a laminated white board. They had some success today to get Wing to write a couple of words today, so they will work on that. The board and pen are quite big so he doesn't need to see very well to use it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 28th, 2005
8:58 pm	Patience Wing is now doing quite well on the ventilation with the machine only giving one breath per minute. On the sedation front, they were trying to wean him off one of the sedation drugs (Fentanyl), and just keeping on Propofol (?), but he's been having hallucinations, so they've put him back on both. Apparently hallucinations can happen when someone's been on sedation for a long time and are taken off too quickly, so we will have to patient. Generally , he's fine. His eyes are less swollen and he is being treated with antibiotics for an eye infection. Anoushka has been great at chivying Wing along and said that he rewarded her a lovely smile the other day. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 25th, 2005
8:43 pm	Improving Wing is continuously improving by all accounts. He is now doing a lot of the breathing himself. They were going to review his ventilation program today and may change it so that the machine just cuts in when he needs it. He's still very agitated and has difficulty sleeping at night, so he is being given drugs to help him get a good night's rest. The problems with communication are obviously causing a lot of frustration for him. He can't see very well and unable to speak. An opthomologist was seeing him today, so hopefully he can get something soon to help with his vision and perhaps see the boards that the speech therapist is devising to help with the communication. Martin and I are looking into some technical aids, but if anyone knows of something that may help, please let us know. Apparently he can hold things but the nurse I spoke to wasn't sure if he could press anything yet. He's still unable to do fine movements with his hands, so writing is not possible. The nurses last night thought Wing was trying to say 'Lee' , so Andrew is contacting his friend, Lee and some other people to go and visit him at the weekend. Wing, despite not being able to talk, also managed to let Anoushka, now his PA (!), know that he wanted to send his love to his mum and brother and could they bring some personal freshness products for him. This is more like the Wing we know and love. We'll know that he's back to his old form when he demands his hair gel and Rocha outfits. I had a conversation with his reflexologist , Lara, today. She will be going off for 3 months soon, but she has kindly arranged for her manager to take over while she's away. Unfortunately, she couldn't give him any treatment this week as he had an IVI tube in his foot. She can do one more treatment before she goes away and if she can't do reflexology on his feet then she will try on his hands. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
5:40 pm	Visits Wing's had a treat (is that the collective noun?) of visitors the last few days. His mother and brother visited him yesterday after a party of friends, Dan, Ryan, Jo, Tony, Mark and Andrew saw him on Sunday. Here is an account of Sunday's visit in Andrew's words... "I went to see Wing yesterday with Dan, Ryan, Jo, Tony and Mark. We were all very pleased to see him looking much better. He was awake when we went in and was waving his arms around. Unfortunately he cannot communicate very well because he is still unable to speak. This was upsetting for him because he was trying to tell us somthing with hand movements but we were unable to understand. I was happy to see that much of the swelling has gone down, I assume a result of the physiotherapy. The nurse on watch told me that he is now breathing mostly for himself with the ventilator providing a few breaths from time to time. This is all very encouraging. Wing is one tough little soldier! I have been told by James who saw him today that his tongue is now back in his mouth and only out when he is asleep. I am thinking of going up over the bank holiday weekend, maybe saturday. I hope that the communication side of things will be better and that we will have a better idea of what Wing is trying to say, that would ease his suffering a great deal. The nurse also said that visitors should limit the time they spend with him because he gets frustrated with being unable to communicate." (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
9:44 pm	Improving I spoke to Bonny this evening. Wing is doing OK. The sedation is being kept the same whilst the ventilation is being reduced a bit more. Ironically, they are having to give Wing sleeping tablets now to help him sleep at night! I expect his sleeping patterns are all over the place and need to be regulated. With being awake more often, he must be getting bored and frustrated that he can't talk and do what he wants, so it's good to hear that he is getting more visitors. Thank you to those who have been to see him. I'm sure it must help to cheer him up. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 20th, 2005
4:24 pm	First Breaths This morning I spoke to Paul, the nurse on duty today. Some more good news - Wing has been taking a few breaths on his own. That's quite a step forward considering where we've been. He's opening his eyes and he knows what's going on, but obviously a bit frustrated that he can't talk and getting a bit agitated waking up in unfamiliar surroundings. A speech therapist is trying to devise some boards to help him communicate. Otherwise, he's generally comfortable and doesn't seem to be in pain. They will continue to wean him off his sedation and ventilation. That means continuing to reduce the sedation drugs a bit at a time and reducing the amount of work that the ventilator does for him. Keep on in there Wing. We know you can do it. Slowly and deep breaths. Lost of love from us all ... xxx (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
10:23 pm	Eyes Open Some good news at last. Wing has become more awake over the last couple of days as the sedation reduces and his eyes were open today. He is able to communicate yes and no. The nurse, Liba, said that he was improving and is more stable, although of course he is still very ill, but it's good to hear that he is conscious again. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
10:59 pm	The nurse on duty was May, this evening. She reported that the sedation has been reduced a little bit more and Wing has been opening his eyes and moving his arms. They think he can understand what they're saying as he has responded when they asked him to try and not move so much. He's also had a visit from the reflexologist today. I think the general impression is that the reflexology treatments are going well. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 15th, 2005
9:15 pm	Gradually Waking Up Sleeping Beauty is stirring. I spoke to Adelina again this evening and apparently Wing has been blinking and during the day he had been moving his arms. However, she can't tell if he understands what she is saying, although his heart rate seems to go up when she talks to him, so he can probably hear. He has been coughing, which, I've been assured, is a good sign. The swelling too is slightly improved. The ventilation is still fully mechanical and they're are just reducing the sedation. Tomorrow, they will take it down a bit more. Last week, I had asked the hospital to find out whether they could get some manual lymph drainage (MLD) treatment for Wing, to help with the swelling, but it appears that they can't do it. Felicity, the sister, had made enquiries via the reflexologist. I'm not sure why at the moment - whether it's not advisable to do it or whether they just don't have anyone to do it. Wing was visited by his mother and brother today, but I haven't yet been able to speak to them to see what they thought. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
9:27 pm	Steady Again, I spoke to Adelina, Wing's nurse this evening. One of the sedation drugs has been reduced a bit and Wing is still stable. She has seen very little change apart from some movement of his eyelids as he is beginning to wake up. Wing's mother and brother will be visiting tomorrow and hopefully we will be able to report some more of what the doctors feel about the progress since last week. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 13th, 2005
10:52 pm	Slowly I've been speaking to Wing's nurse, Adelina, the past two nights. Yesterday, she reported that reducing the ventilation, whilst keeping Wing heavily sedated didn't work to get him to breathe on his own. His oxygen saturation and blood pressure dropped, so the ventilation was been brought back up again. The ventilation (peak rate?) had been taken down to 10 on Thursday, but is now back up to 13. As far as I understand, they've been trying to reduce the pressure at the end of a breath, which was a fairly low risk thing to try. They will try doing it the other way now - keep the ventilation up and reduce the sedation slowly, so they tried it yesterday and he seems more comfortable with that. Today, one of his two sedation drugs has been reduced again very slightly, but no change has been observed. The nurse noticed that he did move his fingers and head a bit yesterday, but hasn't seen anything today. He's quite stable at the moment. (Comment on this)